Film Impressions

REVIEW: KITES (3)

KATI PATANG

Unabashed romance. That's what Bollywood dreams are built on. It's the gaze, the wooing, the sweeping the girl off her feet that every woman in the audience wants to see. When the hero runs towards the heroine our collective hearts anticipate everything from her surrender in his arms to another verbal banter. He would be the best boy at school and college. He would dance like a dream. And he would have to win the hearts of the family as well. If the heroine is shown to be interested in another man, or simply unaware of his interest in her, we would be on his side, fingers crossed ready to offer our shoulders when he sings, 'kaise batayein...tu jaane naa!' As an audience we are willing to be manipulated any which way by the story take us. So stepping into Hrithik Roshan's Kites was easy. I knew there would be romance coming out my ears...

Pure Dhishoom dhishoom. The hero may or may not sing and dance around the trees, but he would have to smolder in love. There would be baddies to beat and if the hero starts out as a goonda, we even watch as long as he uses his muscle to win the heroine. We want the hero to shed blood, scoop her up in his manly arms and ride away with her into the sunset. So stepping into Kites was easy. Hrithik in Dhoom could ride away with the gal on the mo'bike and ooh, he has muscles...

REVIEW: SHREK FOREVER

GROWN UP SHREK, DARK BUT FUN

Sequels are usually a bit of stretch but the makers of Shrek Forever After manage not only to keep us involved in the storyline, but also take the whole Noah's ark full of characters along very nicely for a joyride through not one but three sequels. The main characters -Shrek and Fiona Ogre, grow on us quite nicely too.

Shrek's life is perfect, and he is living in domestic bliss, with his loving wife Fiona, three kids, his best friend donkey and his dragon-donkey kids and dragon wife and happy villagers. But it's the monotony of it's perfectness that begins to get at him. And longs for the good old days when he could roar like all ogres do and scare the villagers away, and wallow in the mud when he wanted. But you know what they say, be careful what you wish for...

 

REVIEW: Admissions Open

IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH STAY AWAY

He's no Robin Padilla, but even Robin does not pretend to have just taken his 12th grade exam. This sweaty muscle-bound person thinks he can get away looking like a 17 year old...

REVIEW: Remember Me (2)

DROOLFEST FOR RPAT FANS

I did not understand why young women were turning into mush puddles en masse when the name Robert Pattinson was but mentioned. And I missed the Twilight series completely. So Remember Me would be my first experience of the mush inducing Robert Pattinson.

DVD REVIEW: The Good The Bad The Weird (2008)

JOHENUNNOM NABEUNNOM ISANGHANNOM

Put three Korean outlaws in the middle of the Gobi desert with a treasure map and throw in the Japanese and the Chinese to complicate things. Before you can say 'Whaat?!' you will feel your jaw drop, your brain will suspend all logic and you'll be ready to enjoy the wild ride.

REVIEW: Badmaash Company (3)

FINALLY A WELCOME SUMMER BREAK FOR AUDIENCES

First a confession. If you are a style fiend, you will cringe at the clothes and shoes and sunglasses (so many of them!) that look great, but do not belong to the period the movie is set in. If you have traveled Air India in the 90s, you know they did not have blue blankets in cattle class, they have always used burgundy. I decided I will NOT look at styling in the movie after seeing the 2003 Takashi Murakami designed Multicolor Monogram Louis Vuitton shirt on Archie the smuggler in 1993/4.

REVIEW: It's A Wonderful Afterlife (2)

WILL THE REAL GURINDER CHADDHA STAND UP?

Bhaji On The Beach was a great fun, because we saw a bit of ourselves in the biddies who took that trip to the beach. Bend It Like Beckham spoke to the tomboy within every Indian woman who was told to stay away from any kind of sport and concentrate on making the perfect chappati instead. Bride & Prejudice helped make enemies of Austen fans who don't mind watching it on the telly. That's why this smug little offering called It's A Wonderful Afterlife from I'm-Bend-It-Like-Beckham Chaddha seems to be an insult to our intelligence.

REVIEW: Iron Man 2

ROBERTO, OH ROBERTO!

Iron Man is so sexed up in this sequel, if it were Come September, every woman in the audience would want to be Gina Lolobrigida and would go, 'Oh, Roberto!' each time Robert Downey Jr was in the frame. And every young man in the audience who sees Scarlett Johansson on screen will repeat after Tony Stark, 'I want!'

 
That out of the way, get set to enjoy the fun ride that is Iron Man 2.

REVIEW: Chase

CHASE THE LAUGHS

They say that we get the cinema we deserve. And when you watch movies like Chase, you know you are paying for your past sins. However, this movie has so many comic possibilities that I would like to share just those.

REVIEW: Paathshaala

LET'S GIVE THEM DETENTION, SHAHID FANS WALKED OUT!

Salman Khan fans will forgive his at once short, at once long hair. Although Shahid Kapoor tries the same stunt in Pathshala, fans found him wanting. He spread his hands a-la Shah Rukh Khan singing Mitwaa! in Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna and fans walked out on him.