REVIEW: We Are Family

KABHI KAJOL KABHI KAREENA

Karan Johar bought the rights to Stepmom so he wouldn't have to say, 'Eh, mujhe cheater mat kaho, okay?'

Kajol is good, in spite of the suddenlystrickenwithcancer type situations she's made to act out (which means, hero/heroine look and act normal until doctor says, 'You have cancer', then suddenly, dark circles appear, they start coughing blood, tiredness happens, fainting adds to drama. Ugh!). But it was Kareena who managed to bring a lump in the throat (when she tells Kajol at the hospital, 'You shouldn't be dying, dammit!'; when the grown up daughter tells Kareena that she misses her mom at her wedding; when Kareena takes pictures of the family). This side of Bebo is wow!

My biggest fear was Kajol materialising at Aalia's wedding waving her hand a la Tina and giving that thumbs up sign before vanishing.  

K...K...K..KITNE BACHHE HAIN, ARJUN KE?

The one man who makes wearing jeans and a sad expression sexy is supposed to be a father of THREE kids? No, no, no, Karan! You only taught us: Hum ek baar jeete hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai etc., toh bachhe TEEN kahan se? 

KYA KAROON HAI, WAF KI GEOGRAPHY WTF HAI!

The movie starts with Kareena and Arjun fabulous shots of the twelve apostles at Port Campbell National Park which is part of the Great Ocean Road. But last time I visited, Princetown and Melbourne were cities closest by road. You gotta take a flight to Sydney. So it's puzzling how Arjun Rampal drives all the way to his daughter's concert in Sydney.

But it's never established that the movie is set in Sydney, right?

Then WTF is the Opera house doing in the frame when Arjun Rampal is shown sad, Kareena at a bridge, sad and Kajol walking in track pants, also sad, some forgettable song playing in the background.

The word sad, brings us to the number of kids Arjun Rampal is dad to, again!

TUSSI NAA JAAO!

Almost expected Anjali to say it, but it is Kareena who says it. And you empathise with her, completely! Why should any girlfriend be saddled with kids the hottie boyfriend has spawned with ex-wife? It's tough becoming a parent to your own kid and to be saddled with three that are some one elses, is too much to ask of anyone.

The kids are awful, no matter how much ice-cream they consume. Only the bespactacled boy seems to have real emotions of the three. Little things the director shows him doing (like touching the mom's photo when she's at the hospital) touch you unexpectedly

And the most regressive dialog I have heard in recent times is Kajol insisting that every woman wants to be a mother! Puhlees! And I wanted to slap the gorgeous cheek of Arjun who is happy to tell Kareena to 'stay out of it'. Oi, buddy! she's in it all right, and head first!

Speaking of head first, I'm no doctor who can prescribe 'radio' therapy (duh! should it not be radiation therapy, or chemo as lay persons know it?) or pronounce Lymphosarcoma of the intestine, but why would anyone go into an MRI machine head first to detect Cervical Cancer?

But Bade Bade Shehron Mein Aisi Chhoti Chhoti Baatein Hotee Hee Rehtee Hain, I guess...

Good thing is Niranjan Iyengar's dialog is pithy. Pity they can't get over references to stars. Generally I want to know, though, if people become Taare after dying, what in the name of heaven is Toot-ta Tara? Death star? I mean dead star? Then what happens to them?

What is most unfortunate is the abbreviation we tend to give movies: KKHH, K3G... This one's WAF. you tend to say WTF more than WA-AH-FAMILY. Although the length is two hours, your patience WEARSoutfor FAMILY.

You step out making a wish list for Karan Johar to remake, and as a die hard fan of KKHH, I would like to see him make: Three Weddings and a Funeral, Two Weeks Notice, Arsenic and Old Lace, Taming Of The Shrew, and last but not the least: Roman Holiday

Karan Johar! Please, please go back to making love stories like KKHH, K3G even Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna. If we want pain and suffering, we will watch Rahul Mahajan ki Shaadi. 

 

Comments

[Deepa Deosthalee]

Thank god you didn't add Notting Hill to your list. I wouldn't want Karan messing up one of my favourite romcoms!

[Dhruvi Shah]

Hi-larious your take be Manisha! :D

[suniti]

Hey! I love your list for KJo! I am all for A & OL a la KJo. Its been a long time since I have seen any KJo movie. Havent bothered to see MNIK, or Kurbaan. KJo is best at a romantic comedy. Looking forward to his version of Taming of the shrew.

[Deepa Gahlot]

Arsenic and Old Lace!! You sure??