ATTACK OF THE ALIEN
A friend
once famously said that reviewing bad films was still better than doing a
routine bank job. Slipshod fare like Jaane Kahan Se Aayi Hai make you
question the veracity of this statement. Milap Milan Zaveri's directorial debut
(he's advertised as the writer of Jhankaar Beats, Masti and Heyy
Babyy!) picks out the worst clichés of recent Hindi cinema and supplements
them with terrible acting, atrocious gags and comically over-wrought emotions.
The most engaging moment in the film is a one-minute cameo by Akshay Kumar
where he hams to death and still comes out looking better than the film's hero,
Riteish Deshmukh.
Neither
rom-com, nor spoof, JKSAH lacks the
originality to induce even the odd laugh. Unless Farah Khan (playing herself)
overacting to the moon and back, Vishal Malhotra (the hero’s sex-obsessed
friend) desperately trying to lose his virginity and Jacqueline Fernandez passing
off her Close-Up smile and alien accent for acting, is anyone’s idea of
entertainment. Unlikely. Deshmukh plays Rajesh Parekh who works as a third
assistant in Khan’s unit and introduces himself as a colossal loser. To his
credit, he looks the part, till he goes overboard in a pathetic imitation of
Shah Rukh Khan.
The film that
Rajesh is assisting on has ‘superstar’ Desh (Ruslaan Mumtaz) who’s supposedly
giving Akshay Kumar sleepless nights and with whom Priyanka Chopra is dying to
be more than just friends. The young man gets a lot of flattering footage, but
he’s nothing more than another forgettable cute face attached to a pumped up
body. The girl who plays his sister and Rajesh’s original love interest is
equally dumb. Meanwhile Jacqueline’s alien (dressed like a Bollywood troupe
dancer in skimpy silver shorts and a cape) drops down from a spaceship into
Rajesh’s arms. She’s apparently come all the way from Venus (where babies are
made by computers) to Earth to understand what true love means. Rajesh suggests
she woo the man everyone's in love with, i.e. Desh. She obediently follows his
cue and predictably, they fall in love with each other instead. Accompanying
this lifeless plot is a porn video called Pink Pussy Cat that everyone wants to
watch including Rajesh’s sex-starved father (Satish Shah slobbering
disgustingly in his life’s worst performance), some pedestrian special effects
and totally bland music.
It’s
virtually impossible to attempt a serious analysis of such a film without
slipping into frivolity or being dismissive. Jaane Kahan Se Aayi Hai makes you wonder who in their right mind green-lighted
such a project and how did the cast and the crew find the motivation to stick
with it to the end?
Nice post Deepa
Posted by: Interval | 04/09/2010 at 11:43 PM