REVIEW: Desi Boyz

TOY BOYS WHO WON'T HAVE SEX!

There was a time when even a self-confessed prude (like yours truly) could manage the occasional laugh in a David Dhawan film. Grudging, but real nonetheless. That time passed long, long ago. His son, Rohit, comes with the freshness of youth and hence Desi Boyz at least doesn't look jaded. But in trying to make an Indian film with a foreign premise, setting it in London (getting all mixed-up with accents for some reason), and still clinging to traditional morality, it falls between stools as recent Hindi cinema is wont to do.

So, the recession of 2009 (not 2008, when it actually happened) has put best friends Jignesh Patel a.k.a. Jerry (Akshay Kumar flitting between fake Gujju and authentic Punjabi) and Nick (John Abraham) out of work in London. When all else fails, they decide to become escort boys for an agency run by Sanjay Dutt (ushered in by the Khalnayak theme music). Sanju baba wisely tells them that giving pleasure to women is no crime and the out-of-luck boys accept the job, but only because Jerry needs to secure custody of his deceased sister's son and Nick needs to service his very expensive fiancee's dreams—even young filmmakers can't let go of old stereotypes.

Radhika (Deepika Padukone), the said fiancee, of course hasn't a clue. So far so good. But now comes the catch. Jerry and Nick don't mind working as strippers and escorts to rich women, but won't have sex with their clients. So what exactly do they do? The one time one of them does oblige a white woman, it's only because her life is otherwise 'empty' and in effect, he's doing her a favour. Sigh!! And of course a majority of their clients are young and sexy. How convenient! 

How does one reconcile the film's bold concept with this wishy-washy exposition? Why make a film about strippers if you can't tell it like it is? What's with all the sugar-coating and treading gently around Indian values? And then the mind-boggling (but true to tradition) caricatures of the two women. Particularly Chitrangada Singh's Tanya, who only appears in the second half and falls all too promptly for Jerry—as though she was only hanging around at Oxford (she teaches there, and he—hold your breath—goes back to finish his education) waiting for his arrival. 

Desi Boyz has a sleek look and treatment that makes it a tolerable watch, but only just.